"We Did It"

I remember, this time around last year, I prayed to be able to cry. I never really cried. Emotion was a myth portrayed only in movies and some television shows. I was in a bubble. Junior year burst that bubble. From tears of joy to tears of sadness. tears seemed to run through the Junior year like a river breaking through a dam.

            The proximity of Junior year to the real world starts the inevitable outpour. The time ticks away at the final months before my departure from all I’ve known for sixteen years. The pressure of Junior year to prepare for this departure dampens this feeling of dwindling time.  Colleges, parents, teachers, all reiterate the same thing: Don’t mess up, it’s the most important year of your school career.

            The pressure is on. The time is going. Everyone seems to notice the time falling over the cliff, irretrievable, gone, but none move to stop the waterfall. Junior year is gone. One year past. One more year to go. And where did this time go?

            Junior year encompassed more in one year than everything up to it. Personally, I experienced my first heartache, first sleepless nights, first true pride in my own work, first true shame in my own work. I found out that not all families are perfect. I learned that tears of joy are possible. I learned that losing a pitch-pipe doesn’t mean you’ve lost the competition.

            I cried myself to sleep for the first time. And the second. And the third. And the fourth.

            I think, we cry, because, in the Junior year, we stand so close to the end, we need to know how to feel. We need to experience everything in the comfort of all we’ve known for sixteen years. But academically and otherwise, we need to prepare for not-so-far-off day when we must leave all we’ve known for sixteen years. We need to learn to cry, when we still have people we know and trust to wipe the tears away. We need to know how to feel, how to live, how to cry.